Llama Racing

LLama Racing: BLOW Results

And the winner of the race is....

<Back
MOONPIE	Can you believe it? Congratulations to the clueless llama MoonPie, and the AOF/Propnut team on a feat that will probably not be duplicated soon. Although MoonPie has been showing continuous improvement all season, we're suprised he found his way to Biloxi. He had some help in his victory from an unlikely source. The racer formerly known as LUSER's entry Speedbump burst into the pre race drivers meeting and a melee ensued. A reporter on the scene said, "Speedbump was jailed after a massive fight broke out. When the police arrived only Speedbump was standing and the police officers had to call the paramedics and notify the Emergency Ward that mass causalities were on the way. When interviewed Speedbump said, "Try BBQ'ing my ass again" (see lineup)		SPEEDBUMP
LLAMABOUT LLAMALINER SLOW is considering suspending or banning Speedbump for his reckless behavior. Inspector A. Corn's decision is pending. So the race was over before it even started for many llamas. Among the casualties were Dean Wilson's Rebellama, Mike C's Scarallama, Mike Lee's Bad Bertha, the record setting llama Rabies Vac, Boob Bull's Holy Bull, (who was hollering for his lawyer as he was carted off by police in hoofcuffs), Eric Engler's Llamotion (recovering from injuries suffered earlier, he didn't think he's need his Kevlar undies for the for the drivers meeting), JJ O'Tooles drunken Irish O'Llamy and Weeniehuffer, from Team GOBB... Irish O'Llamy and Weeniehuffer were nowhere near the real action, but sources say that they jumped into it with each other thinking it was a continuation of the bar fights the previous evening. Hopefully these llamas will be out of jail or the hospital in time for the second race. Also suffering minor injuries was Kent P's LLamalliner, who jumped into the fray to help his arch rival Llamabout, from team LAM700X.
KASSERI	Once the race got started, it was Kasseri in second place all the way for the chick team of Boatkitten and RX4FlaFun. Kasseri hopes to have another strong finish in the second race and take home the World Championship.
GURDIE	Third Place went to Aussiellama. Disqualified in the Ventura race, Inspector A. Corn said that they could race without paying Llamafeeder his "case of Foster's" entry fee. Fourth Place went to Billy Badarse's trailer trash llama, Gurdie. Mrs. Badarse was nowhere in sight.
The sparks flew as H82Luz1's gang llama Flamenco came in fifth. Guess the shock treatments paid off. Sixth was hotly contested by Mike A's Alpo the Palm Beach winner, and Harry L's Arownow. Alpo prevailed, and Arownow said that they'll have plenty of room to improve from 7th in the next race. Eighth, Ninth and Tenth went to Ben Curtis' Ellimillama, Team CoolWhip's Goodfellama, and Ric's Uggllamy, respectively. Goodfellama and Ugglamy were taken out in a mid race collision or would have had much better finishes. A newcomer to the scene, Ryan B's Kinetillama got out of shape midway through the race and caused a multiple boat collision, taking out Goodfellama, Ugglamy, Russ' Banannallama, another newcomer, Phil Mitchell's KRRAllama (watch for an update on this very competitive llama) . Rumor has it that Kinetillama deliberately caused the accident to get more business. A. Corn's decision is pending. There were no injuries, just disappointed llamas and crew. The hero of the day was Mr. Offshore's missing llama Bucky who was flying hurricane watch over Biloxi. Upon seeing the accident, he circled the scene and guided rescuers to the area. YAY for Bucky!
	Also, a piece of good news has come in from the NOA POD camp. Geezer, the World's Oldest Living Llama, has moved.
	watch for updates on race 2 who will be the Llama World Champion?